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November

by Nika Mo

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1.
Exist 04:36
We're both grounded and we both know  we've found it; a real love.  But your parents doubt it, they compare us  to those who shout it  who tell everyone  they're in love  not like us  we tell each other  and that should be enough  (I know it is enough)  I want to exist outside of your arms  but I want you to miss me too  when I'm out of your arms I feel separate to you  You must know that I want to live out my own plans  I hope you understand that  'cause I like us like this and we're independent like this  but when I'm leaving salt on my cheeks  there must be something wrong, don't you think?  I want to exist outside of your arms  but if it's like this it's doing me harm  I want to exist outside of your arms because I want to live  But I want to exist inside of your arms because I still want this
2.
I don't want to pull your teeth but you insist trying to tell me that your gums won't bleed You are the keeper of an orchard gate key I don't want to spill my guts on the side walk See all the dog owners try not to notice as their shih tzu-cross laps up at my innards I try to tell you this is the way that I'm feeling I don't want to see you cry No, I don't want to watch you cry You say you're not convinced by the way that I love well neither am I But in all honesty, I still like myself just fine Fuck it, I'm afraid of the way you forgive me I am afraid of the way that you forgive me Your eyes wide open like the morning window Why are you so kind? I'll be damned if I know Tell me you can hardly breathe, and I will tell you I can hardly breathe Feeling sick to my stomach 'cause you smell so sweet Cigarette on your shirt and your hair all clean I feel like I am pulling teeth for a living I feel like I am pulling teeth but you convince me trying to tell me that your gums won't bleed But I can taste it in the way you kiss me Hear it in the way I speak You can hear it in the way I speak I'm not an idol of love I'm just a statue of self and you're better off without me
3.
The wind picks up and tugs your hair out of your collar, you're not at all bothered but I would be. You're unconcerned, you're like the one cog that makes everything else turn. And for a while I let things slide, I don't mind, I mean, things could be better, but I don't mind. You are the one thing that I believe in. But I don't believe you didn't mean to. Catching light in the morning window, falling on your face like a painting we'd see in a hall of white. And we deserve it because our love is the one love that we know we have earned. But when you make me wait, I feel like a fucking idiot watching Channel 7 shit until you walk in. Don't make me admit that your love is the one thing that can hurt me like this. I don't believe you didn't know that. Since I left I'm still watching shit TV the difference is: no matter how many ad breaks I know that you're not walking in. Since I left I don't have to wait around or keep checking in. But I don't get to have you around, or lay with you to watch the morning sun come streaming in. Since I left I'm still watching shit TV the difference is: no matter how many ad breaks I know that you're not walking in. Since I left I don't have to wait around or keep checking in. I never have to compromise or stay the night to work things out but I don't get to have you around. Or lay with you to watch the morning light come streaming in.
4.
Seven years apart has sometimes seemed too much November 1990 Girl, seven years and three months head start Picture of your car and our grandma, three of us in purple and in blue You were standing on the threshold of life and I was stuck in the doorway of youth You are the first born and golden daughter, how you shine November 1990 Girl, you left everybody else behind You were the first one ever to sing and the first one ever to cry and the best one ever to be. Is there anybody else so bright? Not quite. It's a hald-mad-at-you, seemingly inadequate feeling that I get by your side and I know it's not right It's a hald-mad-at-you, seemingly inadequate feeling that I get by your side and I know it's not one bit right, because we're sisters you and I I will always be the baby sister, I will never be oldest it's true Even though I'm four inches taller, I'll always be looking up to you November 1990 Girl, I can never quite catch up to you A January Ninety-Eighter, could never quite match up to you Well it's a hald-mad-at-you, seemingly inadequate feeling that I get by your side and I know it's not right I get half-mad at you when I compare myself to you (I know I shouldn't, but I do) and that's a bad, bad move, because we're sisters me and you November 1990 Girl And when two decades were breached you went beyond my reach Now I've been left behind, I feel I've left your mind As a younger sister grows a younger sister hopes that her older sister knows how much I love her so

about

An EP recorded in November. One sister born in November. Two tracks written in November. Something about Spring leaving? Nika Mo’s second EP is tender, restrained and sparkling sad. Self-produced by Annika Moses on Whadjuk Noongar Boodjar.

“Initially the EP was intended to be much longer, maybe 7 or 8 tracks. For whatever reason I decided to record these 4 first. The opening and closing tracks on the release (Exist and November 1990 Girl) were written five years ago, and the middle two tracks (Pulling Teeth and I don’t believe [in] you [anymore]) were written only weeks before being recorded in late 2018. The distance between ages 16 and 21 is hugely significant, but despite being from such different periods in my life the tracks somehow sit so comfortably together. Huddled close in their sparkling sadness, rubbing shoulders like they knew each other well. After an intense week of almost living in the studio, followed by a few weeks of a self-enforced listening hiatus, I felt such (unanticipated) unease about adding other tracks to the release. There it was, a perfect (imperfect) window into a week of November. And so the EP remained exactly that: 4 tracks stuck together in time. All a little imperfect, and all so very pink.”

credits

released July 24, 2019

Annika Moses: vocals, electric guitar, piano, bass
Jacob Wylde: vocals, electric guitar, acoustic guitar
Be Gosper: vocals, acoustic guitar
Alexander Turner: vocals, acoustic guitar
Germaine Png: drums

Recorded and mixed by Annika Moses
Mastered by Sam Wylde
Cassettes by Space Cassette
Photo by Anastasia Julien-Martial
Cassette design by Jack Wansbrough

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about

Nika Mo Perth, Australia

Making and performing on Whadjuk Noongar boodjar. Sovereignty was never ceded.

Melancholy-folk that makes the Perth mundane sound somewhat poetic.

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@nikamomusic

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